I have heard my professors, pundits, Hollywood stars, etc. say that, "vo ting is your civic duty!" - as if casting a ballot for one of 2 undesirable choices is the pinnacle being an American citizen. Usually, when people want you to choose between a turd sandwich and a giant douche, they want you to vote for what they want. They try to force you into a false dilemma, which anyone that has attended any decent critical thinking class can tell you is a logical fallacy.
Now getting back to the headline, who would you rather get raped by, Sting or Tommy Lee?
I know most of you are thinking, "Fuck that! I don't want to get raped by either one!" Others are probably thinking, "Well Sting is smaller, so it wouldn't hurt as much, but he can go on for hours, whereas Tommy Lee would hurt more now, but be done faster..." Those of you that contemplated the second part are idiots, and should not be allowed to breed, let alone vote. Any sane person would choose not to get raped.
Every election, the establishment seems to want to rally around a candidate that is unpalatable, but seem like the lesser of two evils. By doing so, they force the nation into a false dilemma. Voting for the lesser of two evils still means that you are voting for evil, so the good decision is to not vote. Consenting, even begrudgingly, to a choice you don't want to make is still an endorsement of getting fucked over. It's not rape if you gave your consent, unless you live in California - then it's rape as long as the rapist wasn't a famous Hollywood producer.
To me, choosing to not vote, write in for some candidate that won't make it, or voting for the turd sandwich or giant douche is unacceptable. I would rather vote for someone I want as president, and not someone I think won't fuck up the country as much as the next schmuck.
What do I want? I want to vote for someone who has accomplished more in life than consistently win popularity contests. I want to vote for someone that doesn't need a bunch of ass-kissers to tell everyone how smart he is, and how great he is. Greatness is apparent, and needs no explanation. I want a candidate that is so awesome, that Katie Couric eye-fucks the shit out of him and demands to know who is the bad-ass she sees before her. That is why, I want to draft Richard L. Simcock III for President of the United States!
Simcock 2012: If only he were king!