A Strong Argument For Bootlegging
There
has been constant onslaught of people heaping praise on the latest Star Wars
movie. It’s better than the Christmas Special, but at least that one had more
Boba Fett. They make a big deal about the diversity of the cast, like that’s
something special in a universe populated by aliens. How about put in good
actors regardless of race! There were some enjoyable elements, but compared to
the hype of the movie, it fell short. Still, a body of work should be judged by
its merits: visuals, scoring, story and characters. I won’t go into all of the
plot details because we know what happens ultimately, but there might be some
spoilers if you’re bothered by that.
If you’re
looking for a well thought out movie with dynamic characters, great dialogue, a
gripping story and well used fan service, go see Creed. If you’re looking for a
fun, action packed movie with fun characters, witty one liners and fan service,
go see the Expendables. If you’re looking for Storm Troopers, a Death Star,
X-wings and TIE fighters, then go see Rogue One. The director, Gareth Edwards
does know how to put together some decent action scenes and we’re not seeing
the insufferable lens flare that we’re used to with J.J. Abrahms. The visuals
of the movie were largely good, but the special effects people should have
tried harder on resurrecting Peter Cushing and de-aging Carrie Fisher. It’s
obvious and distracting. Darth Vader did not look good. There are better fan
costumes. On top of that, the scoring was lackluster and it is obvious it’s not
a John Williams original.
The overall
concept for Rogue One is good. We know that the Rebels got their hands on the
plans for the Death Star, but unless you read through the novels, you had no
idea how they did. Of course, with Disney at the helm, even if you read through
the novels you have no idea how they did because they said fuck all to the
expanded universe. Rogue One promised to show us how they got the plans and it
was promoted as having a great heist with a brave assault as cover. It failed to
deliver on the first part, but the assault was decent. Really, the writers
should have stuck to one or the other but they weren’t up to the task of
either. One of the things that failed the movie for the hardcore fans is
actually all of the fan service. Every element they had to put in was less time
they had to actually tell a good story. It was a shallow façade to try and
force drama points. There was no real drama in the entire movie and it was
sprinkled with so many clichés it is clear that the writers are hacks. George
Lucas is not the best writer around, but his scripts were far superior to the
current crop of Star Wars movies.
The
script was uninspired and really seemed like bad fan fiction from the worst Star Wars fan ever. I have seen better
fan films with better dialogue than what they put out. The plot should be simple.
After many delays, the Death Star is about to become operational and it will be
an existential threat to the freedom loving Rebels, so the plans for it must be
obtained at all costs. They know of a
scientist that would have access to those plans and they know of someone they
could use to leverage him to get the plans. Simple, but they got away from that simple concept and ran around directionless throughout most of the movie. Yes, we know that the Death Star is
something to be feared, but you don’t really get that sense from the
characters. Once it is test fired, they still don’t do anything to really make
it seem visceral and real. I’m not expecting a great disturbance in the Force, but
something more to show that the characters thought, “oh shit.”
The
writing was so bad, what should be good, interesting characters in a dynamic
world in a high stakes situation are instead boring characters that no one
gives a shit about. The only characters that are likable are the gimmick
characters. K2SO (Alan Tudyk) is the comic relief and the best droid in the
series. Chirrut Îmwe (Donnie Yen) plays
the stereotypical blind Asian martial arts master, but sometimes stereotypes
work. However, after the initial offering we saw in the trailer, he really
doesn’t do much else cool. Baze Malbus (Wen Jiang) was fun too, but was really
a wasted character. The only reason to have either of them was to get the movie
into China.
I know
some people thought they’d make Jyn Erso (Felicity Jones) a Mary Sue, but they
at least didn’t fall into that trap like they did with Rey in Force Awakens.
She is a weak character with no strengths to speak of. She doesn’t have any special
skill, moral strength, leadership abilities, charm, and no development in the
entire script even though she’s the main character! Her journey as a reluctant
hero is unbelievable. Compared to her character, the Force, light sabers and no
one killing Jar Jar seem entirely reasonable.
Jyn’s
main foil was Captain Cassian (Diego Luna), who was not up to the task. He did
not provide any real contrast to Jyn or push her to develop in any way. Conflicted
assassin turns hero should be cool. He wasn’t. The only great thing about him
was that he brought along K2SO. The character concept was good, but like
everything else in the movie it fell short. The rest of the cast was entirely forgettable.
They added nothing of substance and were just along for the ride. What they
could have done is do a better job highlighting that these people are not the best
of the best, no heroes are coming, but there is no choice but to go with the
Rebels you have, and not the Rebels you wish you had.
The last part of the film is the
only interesting part. The first 3 quarters of the movie could have been
condensed to give more time for the heist and diversionary strike. When it becomes time for the Rebels to act,
do they jump at what could be their last chance? No, they bicker, squabble, and
can’t reach a consensus. Jyn and her crew resolve to go and a few doers go with
her. They follow her just because she has an inkling of a plan. That’s good! A
good plan executed vigorously now is better than a perfect plan executed later,
or in the Rebel’s case, doing nothing. If
I was still giving classes on offensive doctrine, I could see myself using a
clip from here as an attention getter to highlight that point. Of course, Monty
Python will always be used to demonstrate deductive reasoning.
The ragtag group gets into the Imperial base and split up to do their parts. The assault team kicks it off, and uses disinformation to keep the enemy confused to draw the enemy away from the real objective. Then the main Rebel force finds out what the raid force is doing through unexplained plot device and blue Admiral Ackbar gets an entire fleet moving to support a small element in contact. I know what it takes to move a large element, and then there is the transit time through hyperspace and other things to consider. As far as realism goes, Jyn Erso is a well-developed character played expertly by Felicity Jones and surrounded by a stellar cast that was in no way diversity hires picked to virtue signal progressives of pallor, race hustlers, or get into the lucrative Chinese film market. But ignoring that, it’s better than the rest of the Rebels sitting around with their thumbs up their asses and could be forgiven. Just like how every movie sniper has to copy Gunny Hathcock, it seems every major battle scene now has to copy Leeroy Jenkins. At least when Game of Thrones did it, Jon Snow’s back up was ready for battle and there was only one Rickon Stark.
The ragtag group gets into the Imperial base and split up to do their parts. The assault team kicks it off, and uses disinformation to keep the enemy confused to draw the enemy away from the real objective. Then the main Rebel force finds out what the raid force is doing through unexplained plot device and blue Admiral Ackbar gets an entire fleet moving to support a small element in contact. I know what it takes to move a large element, and then there is the transit time through hyperspace and other things to consider. As far as realism goes, Jyn Erso is a well-developed character played expertly by Felicity Jones and surrounded by a stellar cast that was in no way diversity hires picked to virtue signal progressives of pallor, race hustlers, or get into the lucrative Chinese film market. But ignoring that, it’s better than the rest of the Rebels sitting around with their thumbs up their asses and could be forgiven. Just like how every movie sniper has to copy Gunny Hathcock, it seems every major battle scene now has to copy Leeroy Jenkins. At least when Game of Thrones did it, Jon Snow’s back up was ready for battle and there was only one Rickon Stark.
Still, the assault was visually
stunning and even with the clichéd and tired tropes, unlikely requirements and
recycled footage; it was still the best part of the movie. Vader’s boarding
action was fun fan service and at least they showed that Vader doesn’t run, you
run from Vader. If you watch the movie and were a fan of Star Wars, you’ll find
that the movie really doesn’t stick with you. The only selling point for the
movie is nostalgia, not the characters, except K2SO, the only competent droid
in the universe. If you must see the movie, bootleg it. Honest criminals
deserve the ad revenue more than Hollywood pedos.